Belinda Bencic: “Tennis no longer feels like life and death to me”

It’s been two weeks since Belinda Bencic lifted the WTA 500 trophy in Abu Dhabi, in just her fourth Tour-level event since returning from maternity leave. The former world No. 4 and Olympic singles gold medalist had always believed in her ability to compete at the highest level as a mother. But speaking on the Tennis Insider Club podcast, the Swiss star admitted she knew not everyone shared that view.

“When I started my comeback, most people were like, ‘Oh, for sure, it's not possible,’ you know? So, I always feel like people change their minds so quickly. And it's fun for me to to be like, ‘Oh, okay, you believe in me now, huh?,’” she told host, and fellow pro, Caroline Garcia.

“It's very classic. I had so many people saying: ‘Why she did this decision now in the middle of her career? It's not possible to be back at the same level.’ But now (after Abu Dhabi) they say: ‘Yeah, she can win the Grand Slam for sure.’ I'm like, you changed your mind in one week!”, she laughed.

“The best day ever”

Bencic returned to competition last October, six months after giving birth to daughter Bella. She initially competed at the ITF level before making her tour return for Switzerland at the United Cup.

The impact motherhood has had on her as a tennis player was immediately clear following a heavy defeat to Italy’s Jasmine Paolini. Bencic noticed how different her reaction was.

“It's so weird. Before Bella, I would be devastated in my room, thinking about the match, thinking of what I should have, would have done differently," she explained.

“But I just went off the court and the next day we went to Bondi Beach and we had like the best day ever. It was an amazing day. And then I went back to the practice court.”

Sometimes I felt on the court (before), like it's about life and death. Like I have to do everything possible to win this match, and if I lost the match, I would be devastated. It was just my whole life, you know, and now I just feel like it's not.

“It doesn't mean that I don't care about tennis, but it just means that I can separate so much more my tennis work and private life.”

Bencic’s new perspective has also brought a calmness to her game, something she admitted she has struggled with in the past.

“I was very emotional (before). I never was disrespecting anyone or doing it towards someone. It was always towards myself, you know. Sometimes I lost control of my emotions and I would like go down the spiral. It would help me when I got mad, to win some matches. But I'm not really proud of some moments and it's very hard for me to rewatch them.”

Now it's just like, I don't throw my racquet because I don't want Bella to see that, you know? And it's actually crazy, but it doesn't even cross my mind to do it.

“It’s possible to do both”

Bencic is the latest in a growing number of players who have returned to the tour after becoming a mother. When asked what motivated her to return, the 27-year-old says she was open to the possibility that she actually might not.

“I was ready for the fact, maybe I will hold my baby and say, ‘I don't want to play ever again.’ I was ready for this, but it never happened. I was like really convinced that it's possible to come back, and I was also happy to come back.

“I also feel like all the work I did in my career, in my childhood, I don't want to just throw it away. I just want to take out the most when I can out of my career and also like see that it's possible to have both.”

I don't think it's like proving myself. I think it's just like doing the best I can for sure, like the priority is with Bella. So if anything happens, like I'm very happy to stop playing tennis and being a full time mom, if that's what I need to. But I feel like now it's possible to do both.

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